Another year closer to death. I have a long and complicated history with birthdays. My first wife stopped celebrating them early into our relationship, saying I didn’t deserve it; at one point my office staff at the time threw a party for me with her grudging participation. My second wife made such a production out of doing anything for me that I shrunk from asking, or accepting, anything. And then last year I was in between lives; my actual birthday passed when I was on the road to Canada to visit one of my partners at the time.
My 44th birthday was, for once, sedate and happy. My kids met my boyfriend Pagan, who was trounced by Thing 2 at Mario Kart. An old and dear friend stopped by to catch up, and we enjoyed regaling Pagan with weird tales I’ve racked up in my career in Chicago politics. The cake was great, and the presents were nice. Is this how normal people celebrate things?
Anyway, I am now struggling with my writing schedule due to finding stable employment after a year of searching; hopefully I’ll be able to keep up the weekly schedule of perversion while I slide back into what I do best: humiliating politicians for money.
What’s Ahead
Talking Tuesdays: Since I’m officially back in the dirt digging business, tomorrow will feature a throwback to the time I wrote about my job under my government name. Once upon a time, the infamous adultery site Ashley Madison suffered a massive data breach and their entire user database wound up on the internet. You would think this would be an opposition research goldmine, but it was a big flopping nothingburger for a number of reasons. What If We All Cheated And Nobody Came will feature the column I wrote about the Ashley Madison breach at the time in full, along with my reflection on writing it as a desperately faithful survivor of domestic violence.
Fucking Fridays: On a similar note, the Hide Your Husbands will come to its conclusion on Friday. After sleeping with his second ex-wife’s new husband, Kaz goes all the way down the rabbit hole to his first ex’s spouse as well. I Fucked My Exes’ Husbands is the sendoff the series deserves, and I promise it will be as stupid as it is hot and gay. Subscribe today and prepare!